Piece of Cake, Piece of Pie
by Sevyn
Summary: SasuNaruSasu. Yaoi. Sasuke's determined to force Naruto into admitting that he has feelings for him. Naruto's being a chickenshit and pretending to like Sakura still. What will Sasuke do to make Naruto finally be truthful? I suggest great sex. On Hiatus
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:** Sasuke's determined to force Naruto into admitting that he has feelings for him. Naruto's being a chicken-shit and pretending to like Sakura still. What will Sasuke do to make Naruto finally be truthful?  
**Warning:** Yaoi. Don't like? Well then don't read. Oh and it's short. Might be some italic errors. Beware of the bad writing. I'm sorry.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto, and probably never will unless I hit the lotto one day and buy Naruto off of Kishimoto.

* * *

"Admit it already." Sasuke said coolly while looking Naruto right in the eye as they both stood in the kitchen. 

"Admit what, Uchiha?" Sasuke winced. When Naruto used his surname, it was almost as if he was reverting back to the way things used to be. _When he hated me_, Sasuke thought sadly.

"You have feelings for me. And you know—"

"Bullshit." Naruto's hands clenched at his sides, heat starting to rise into his cheeks at the thought of being as transparent as a window. _He couldn't have figured me out so easily so soon_.

Sasuke smirked knowingly. "Uzumaki Naruto, I would've never pictured you as a coward." Blonde hair covered brilliant blue eyes as Naruto cast his head downward in shame. Sasuke walked closer to Naruto until he was practically on top of him. Since Naruto's head was down, Sasuke could look right over him. If they were both standing up straight, they would be eye to eye, though Sasuke was only a centimeter shorter than the blond (but who counts centimeters?).

"Dobe, who the fuck are you trying to fool?" Sasuke took a pause to pull up Naruto's chin and look into his eyes. He pushed blonde hair out the way. "I see the way you look at me. The way you get a little more excited than usual at the sound of my name. The way you blush slightly when I'm topless." Sasuke took his turn to talk as a way to get his lips closer to Naruto's, yet not exactly closing the gap. Naruto could feel Sasuke's warm breathe on his mouth and the bastard knew it was killing him. "And everyone else sees it too. Face the facts, ursuronkatchi. We were made for each other." Then Sasuke began to close the gap but Naruto wasn't for it.

"Bull_SHIT_!" Naruto shoved Sasuke far away from him and moved to the other side of the kitchen, which was only two feet away (it was a small kitchen). "Teme, what the hell is wrong with you?! You're a **guy**! We're both **GUYS**! We can't do this!" Naruto started to calm down as he noticed he had gotten the obvious portion of the conversation out the way. Sasuke yawned. "Anyway, I like Sakura still. And furthermore—" Naruto halted in confusion as he heard a weird chuckling sound coming from Sasuke's direction. Then he watched as that chuckle from the normally stoic Uchiha turned into a full out laugh. Then it hit him. Sasuke was laughing at him!

"Dobe, you don't really believe that crap do you? Sakura? And _you_? It didn't happen when we were Genin and it _will not_ happen now…She's not even your type." _But I am_. Sasuke was starting to get slightly annoyed. How much longer would this have to go on before Naruto actually broke down and owned up to the well-known truth?

"Oh yeah Sasuke? I think you're just jealous that Sakura might want me instead of you for a change." Sasuke snorted. If anyone, he believed he should be jealous of Sakura. That bitch…

_Whoa Sasuke, back to the task at hand. No Sakura-bashing…yet._

"Dobe, just how dumb are you? I'm **gay**. You know, C-7-A-Y?" Sasuke wasn't much of a talker but if he wanted something enough, and to get it involved talking, well then he just wouldn't shut up until he got what he had desired. "Besides, even if Sakura grew a penis, I **still** wouldn't date her—" Sasuke suddenly felt a warm hand over his mouth and immediately began wishing it were elsewhere. _If only that hand would travel slightly south. Tease me a bit, and touch and caress and rub everything except my aching erection, and then go for the gold by giving me a mind-blowing hand job. _Sasuke imagined himself moaning and arching into Naruto's touches._ Oh Naru! Soooo gooood…Oh Kami I'm cumming! Naruto…Naru…I…I lov—_

-snap-

"Sasuke…Hellooooo?"

-snap snap-

Sasuke had to blink a few times to notice the tan hand and the fingers snapping in his face. _Must stop zoning out to visualize perverse things._

"Damn Sasuke. You must be really out of it today. Anyway, as I was saying before you completely zoned out. You shouldn't go around saying crazy things like that. You could get seriously hurt or worse…someone could scratch that pretty little face you adore so much. _For his sake, he is talking about me right?_

_Anyway, to the point._

Sasuke snorted for the second time that night as he noticed Naruto implying that he was vain. But he also noticed something else when he tried to move and swiftly sat down in the chair next to the table to hide his painfully hard but dwindling erection.

"What's so goddamn funny? I'm being serious here!" Naruto shouted as he sat down in the chair opposite Sasuke's. Another snort and a trademark Uchiha smirk. "You being serious is what makes it so funny. It's laughable." Whiskered cheeks puffed out in a huff as Naruto crossed his arms across his chest and faced away from the raven.

Pale arms came up behind Naruto and circled around his waist. Naruto gasped as Sasuke brought his chin over the tan shoulder and huskily whispered into his ear "You know, you're cute when you're serious." Then Sasuke turned Naruto around to face him. Onyx eyes glazed over as Sasuke's thumb attempted to caress Naruto's cheek but was quickly slapped away.

"No Sasuke. We can't. More importantly, **I** can't." Naruto tried to move as far from the Uchiha as possible so he could try and get his point across without any…distractions. "If I give the villagers anymore reasons to hate me, then I might never become Hokage…"

When seeing how sad Naruto had become after understanding the possibility of his all-time dream not grow to be a reality, Sasuke felt his resolve softening. Don't get him wrong, he wasn't giving up (oh HELL no, not by a long shot), but he could at least call it a night for Naruto's sake.

Sasuke pushed off the table, making his chair scoot back, and rose to his feet. "We aren't finished here. We will continue this another time." Naruto quickly rose to his feet as well and stood behind the Uchiha, putting his hand on the other's shoulder to halt him. "But Sasuke—" Naruto stopped mid-sentence when he saw the look in the raven's eyes. Utmost seriousness. "Fine." Naruto sighed and cast his eyes downward in defeat. "Good night Sasuke-teme."

"Night." Sasuke left to walk out of the kitchen and to his room, leaving Naruto to stand there alone.

* * *

As Sasuke closed the door and slid on the floor with his back against the door, he thought to himself, _This battle is far from over, and Naruto's about as stubborn as…well, me. I need a plan, and I mean a genius one. I, though my pride keeps me from admitting it, I need help. I need someone with serious brains and enough experience for the both of us. Nara would be perfect in the brains and genius plan category, but we're not exactly friends. I need someone I trust._

Then a voice sneered in, _**Well that narrows the list down by 100 percent right there.**_ Sasuke's eyes narrowed at the smart-ass voice in his head. …Did he just insult himself in his own mind? Hey wait, he didn't have to prove himself to some voice. He was Uchiha Sasuke for Kami's sake.

_**You're just mad that you can't think of one living being you trust, other than Naruto.**_

_Fuck you voice. I can so name someone I trust._ Sasuke's eyes narrowed further, if possible, after realizing how childish he sounded.

_**Tch. As if. I'd love to see you—**_

_Kakashi_. Sasuke smirked in victory. _What's wrong voice? You're getting kinda quiet on me._

_**Well perhaps Kakashi-sensei will help you. After all, you were only his most precious student.**_

_Whatever. I'll see him about it tomorrow. _

_**Try not to get molested when you go, Sasu-chaaaan.**_

Sasuke hopped into bed, already in his boxers, tired after a long day. _I should probably see Tsunade-sama about this annoying voice too._ And with that, Sasuke flipped over and fell asleep, having no idea what he was getting himself into.

* * *

Well that's **Piece of Cake, Piece of Pie** for ya. Oh btw, they live together (like housemates, not lovers). Tell me how you liked it. And if you didn't, well that's cool too. I want reviews though. So help me out and let me know if I'm wasting my time or not. 

**TheDarkestWhiteRose.**


	2. Chapter 2

Hi people! I know it took a while, but it's here. I don't think it's that good, actually I don't think it's good at all… At least it gets the point across. If you still don't know what's going on, I'll have a chapter description at the end of the chapter. And after I finish typing this, I'll work on chapter 14? of **Well Here Goes Nothing**. Maybe, perhaps. We'll just have to wait and see ;D. Well, without further ado, chapter 2 of **Piece of Cake, Piece of Pie**. Oh and b-t-w, this is just a chapter to get things moving along, so it's short and stupid. I'm sorry. And I'm gonna need time to get all next chapters for my stories done. So Chapter 3 might be a while….Apologies again.

"So Sasuke, what brings you here?"

"I need…I need…._help_." That last part came out as a gurgled yelp. It's not like Sasuke went around asking for help on a daily basis.

"Well you must be here for either sex help…or good reading material help perhaps?" He raised his only visible eyebrow as he waved the nearest copy of 'Icha Icha Paradise' a few feet from Sasuke's face, in case he was in a pissy mood. No damage should befall his innocent beloved Icha Icha. And since the room they happened to be in was his room---Apparently Iruka was in the kitchen making lunch and anything Naruto-related would surely get to the blonde somehow---there were a ton of the books all over the floor.

"Um, no. Naruto won't go public with our…thing." Sasuke seemed to try to translate what he meant with his hands. "And he won't admit that we have…a thing." Then his usual scowl was replaced with a highly rare worried look. The only people that ever saw Sasuke with his guard down were Naruto and Kakashi. Well, the only people still alive, that is.

"Hmmm…" Kakashi gave Sasuke a quick once-over. "Well there's your first problem right there. How do you expect for him to admit to it if you won't even do it yourself?" Sasuke suddenly tensed and straightened up. "And furthermore, though you have nothing to lose, doesn't mean he doesn't. He wants to become Hokage. You of all people should know that. Hell, the whole frickin' **world** should know it at this rate! The counsel isn't exactly 'free-spirited' and unbiased. They're homophobes. And if they catch even a whiff of this 'NaruSasuNaru' going on all over the place---Yeah, I know about all those alleyways you massacred with your nonstop humping. Anyway, if they catch even a morsel of your sexcapades, guess what? Game over for Naruto."

Sasuke's jaw slightly dropped, and his head tilted to the right a tad. He could've sworn he covered their tracks for the past 79 alleys. At least the pervert didn't know about the park…or their roof…or the Hokage Mountain…or the---He should stop. He could feel the pressure in his jeans and the heat rising to his face and the blood rushing to his groin.

"Whatever train of thought you have, terminate it now."

Sasuke stiffened.

"Now, back to what I was saying. You need---"

-BEEP BEEP BEEP-

"Oh look at the time, I've gotta run. I've got an eight-month-long mission I need to be heading off to. So, please see your way out through that window over there, I need to give Iruka numerous amount of shags---and the other way around a few times for good measure---before I go."

Not wanting to hear anymore about two of his old teachers getting it on, Sasuke hurriedly made his way to the previously mentioned window.

"Oh and Sasuke?" Sasuke turned slowly, with one leg out the window, somewhat fearing what may come out of his teacher's perverted mouth next. "When I get back, have a list of ideas to solve your little 'problem'. Ciao!" Then Kakashi disappeared in a cloud of smoke to the kitchen, to give Iruka a little _surprise_ before he left. As Sasuke climbed out the window to the tree across from it, he thought to himself,

'_What a waste.'_

**EIGHT MONTHS AND TWO DAYS LATER**

"I come back eight months later and this is all you've got?"

"Shove it Kakashi."

Sasuke sat on his couch as Kakashi stood above him reading the list he had come up with in the past seven months and four days, obviously not pleased. Naruto was out with Iruka right now at the ramen shop, catching up with a good ol' pastime, so they have some time of their own.

"Trim the hedges for a week?"

"…"

"Clean the bathroom?"

"…"

"Who is he, your mother?"

"…"

"What the hell are you trying to do? Coax him in raising your allowance?"

"…"

"For Kami's sake Sasuke! You're fudging eighteen years old, you've gotta come better than this---"

"Would you shut up and help me already?! You act like I do this for a living!" Sasuke rose, his temper rising after hearing his hard work criticized. It's not like this shit was easy! But Sasuke's outburst went unnoticed, and Kakashi continued to rant.

So he sat back down.

"Bake a cake?!?! What kind of shi---"

-LIGHTBULB BING-

A dark brow rose in curiosity at the sudden halt.

"In case you're wondering, I have an idea. Instead of baking a cake…" Kakashi paused again, contemplating whether telling Sasuke was a good idea or not. "…Why don't you be the cake?"

"Come again?" Sasuke didn't like the sound of where this could be going.

"That exactly what Naruto'll be screaming when he gets a load of you." (1)

He also didn't like that lecherous grin donning Kakashi's unmasked face. "Huh?"

"You know, for a genius, you're pretty stupid. Anyway, you'll see what I mean soon enough. Now, here's the plan…"

What I meant by that was that Naruto will be screaming 'Cum again!' I didn't think it was that funny, but hey look! I typed it anyway!

Damn this chapter is short.

Anyhoooo!

So far, Sasuke has confronted Naruto in their kitchen and Sasuke is going to Kakashi for help. Kakashi has a plan. Maybe we'll see what it was next chapter. I seem to really have a thing for accidental cliffhangers, and for that, I am sorry. So, until next time, jaa!

**TheDarkestWhiteRose.**


	3. Don't Get Your Hopes Up

Hi, everyone. I just wanted to tell you to not get your hopes up because this isn't a real chapter. This is an author's note, :) .

I just wanted to say "Summer's coming! Which means more freetime! For me! For YOU! For all except the adults that have to work! (I feel kind of bad for them...)"

So yes, back to the point. As soon as school ends, I will try my damnedest to bring my stories back up to par (Especially the WHGN Revision and Info-Tech. There really is no excuse for the Revision because it's just that: a revision. The chapters are basically already written).

Thank you all for sticking by me, those of you who actually are of course.

I hope I don't fail out of my school (I'm a poor student for I am lazy)... That right there is the reason why all stories are on hiatus until the summer.

Also to note, my friend wants to see some straight!Male Naruto Characters which really isn't my forte, but I owe her big so I'm going to try. BUT I HAVE NO IDEAS!!

So that may be coming this summer too. Maybe I can put random scraps of writing together and make a short story out of that...

This has turned into somewhat of a blog so I'm going to stop now.

Have a nice summer everyone. :)


End file.
